What am I doing with my life?
An entry in which I write in the "stream of consciousness" style of writing...
What am I doing with my life? What have I achieved in my 40 years on earth? I feel like a failure in comparison with my peers. But why am I comparing? Their lives are theirs, and this is mine. Haven’t I achieved what I set out to do all those years ago, albeit with some changes as time went by? I never wanted to be a homeowner, yet now I have this cute little apartment that I adore. Minimalism is my elected way of living, and I most definitely have achieved that. Nothing makes me happier than learning how to live happily with little, by choice. It’s not like I can bring anything from this earth to heaven when I die.
And I have travelled the world… I got to study in a foreign country on a scholarship (Spain). I have locked lips and laughed and lamented with a myriad of people in all kinds of places. And you know what else? I am living debt-free (not counting the mortgage)! That’s the best thing about being a minimalist.
So why the melancholy, dear heart? Remember. Remember when you wanted what you currently have? And remember how you’ve triumphed over such miserable adversity. How you didn’t stay defeated after being beaten emotionally and mentally by the person who was supposed to love you as his wife. And now you’re incredibly adored by this wonderful man. And you thought you’d never fall in love again… that you were not worthy. Dear heart, you’ve landed amongst the stars of belonging. And if the moon were a flower, you are cavorting in a garden with Selene. You’re finally living your life as yours.